The cult of ego - part 2
“When we reach the limits of our own abilities and we desire to scrutinise this experience carefully – which also means the decision to not give up or back away from this experience – then our inner pride begins to dissolve. Gently through the sheer force of emotions – the energy of anger, and the energy of disappointment and fear. If it is not directed, it has the potential to penetrate our heart and open it up. Then, and only then do we discover a state free of ego. In that moment the destructive patterns of our habitual behavior are dissolved. Reaching the limits of our endurance is like discovering the portal to a healthy mind, and unconditional human compassion.” – “Living beatifully with uncertainty and change” Pema Chodron
How to open the window to the Spirit?
For me, this wonderful opening took place after several hours of pranayama (breathing practice). Pratyahara means the withdrawal of the mind in yogic language. And it was exactly this state, a complete withdrawal of the body and mind, into an infinite space of peace and serenity.
Shortly after this incident, life hammered me to my knees, it took away all I cared about and sought after, everything that I dreamed of and believed in. It was a gruelling experience, and it lasted for several consecutive months and which quietly rebuilt me up again from scratch.
“Your heart is the light of the world. Do not cover it with your mind …” Moooji
I was generally frustrated with life, the never ending rush, the continuous struggle for things, and the incessant noise of my mind. I knew intuitively that to go beyond this vicious circle of “reality”, I had to approach things differently than before.
I had to stop.
At that time I stumbled upon the literature of Ancient Wings by Robert Theiss. His gentle, open, and sincere view of the world resonated with my body and gave me the courage to trust heart. And ultimately, I made a decision – I will build everything from the ground up again, from the very foundations.
Only this time I trust life to reach out its hand to me.
“Regard all things in the following way: as an illusion, a castle built from the clouds … Nothing is as it seems.” – Buddha
A deeper trust
I remain steadfast in that momentous decision, and in return it shows me the way and teaches me a deeper trust and more mellow patience. From that decision sprung up an intense understanding who I really am at my very own core and simultanouesly to follow that quiet voice of the Soul.
My practice is my life. And vice versa. Filled both with daily mindfulness, and with the ups and downs. It is the wind – once blowing in my back and once in my face.
My life is very busy, nothing is permanent, durable or reliable. It has no particular rhythm, it doesn’t have a plan, and it constantly plays me tricks.
Yet despite this, I am permeated with inner harmony, joy, peace, and above all – boundless confidence in everything that life thrusts at me.
For me, to open to the Spirit means to connect to a vibrant current of life. And this current reveals its secret in each single moment of my presence.
One of my Indian teachers described his trip to the market in order to buy fruit. But once he was there, he said to the seller, that he will buy the fruit tomorrow instead. The gaunt merchant grinned with his yellow teeth, shook his head and finally retorted, “No, no, tomorrow never comes.”
Another reminder, that past and the future are only an illusion.
“The Ego has the ability to observe, but in this observation appears assessment, criticism and the distinction between good and bad. Therefore it can never be a pure observation. Awareness (the Absolute) is not bound to any assessment, differentiattion or drama. God says “I,” but the devil also says “I”. The crux of the matter is to find a difference between them. To recognize what is the human ego and what is the divine self. ” – Mooji
The chosen one, a cheap massmarket illusion?
The practice of mindfulness means for me, being a faithful observer of what appears at the level of the ego. This also entails being prepared, and willing to accept that any at translating the reality will also mean the Matrix has clawed itself into my very essence. It has intercepted me.
And believe me, we all need to escape the matrix. If, for only a moment.
Yogis suggest there exist three states of the mind. Positive, negative, neutral. The breath practice, yoga, meditation, solitude, silence, fasting, and many others, are aimed at silencing and purification of the mind, and erasing the destructive patterns which tie us into the Matrix. And which ultimately lift us up from it and frees our essence into a neutral state of our mind. In other words – unplugs us from the Matrix.
In my opinion, no one is chosen.
Instead to melt away the ego, we need a strong heart, and a valiant will. We also need to make space for the Spirit, who in return, with his infinite goodness will, step by step, enlighten our frail human personality and elevate it into a purer form.
To reiterate. No one is chosen.
Rather it is up to each one of us to actively make that choice, through mindfulness and through our practice. Through how we perceive our reality.
All this is available here and NOW. All this is possible for every one of us.